In 2021, I benevolently set the intention of, “It gets to be easy” as my guiding anchor for the year.
And then? I got my ASS KICKED with some of the hardest shit I've ever been through.
I’ll dive DEEP into my personal experience, but first...
Remember this as you strut boldly into a new year with new intentions, new guiding words, essences or phrases…
We don’t (always) get what we want.
We get what we need so we can have what we want.
And by setting a new intention, you’re calling in new problems to solve.
Now, that may sound oddly cynical coming from a leader of an Empowerment company, but it IS empowering and exciting, I swear!! (Even if it woops your ass).
As humans, we’re literally designed and created to solve problems.
(And we get rewarded with dopamine when we do!)
A lot of people experience depression because they’re just friggin’ BORED.
They’re not actively solving problems that builds their soul; they’re just consuming, doing, and repeating.
Overcoming and solving problems builds resilience and purpose in the human spirit.
So, what problems are you willing to solve in order to receive what you want?
I know this can be heady, so here’s some examples of what this could look like…
Let’s say “Loving my Body more” is your intention for the year.
Great. So what happens if you have an acne breakout? Will you still love your body then? Or is loving your body conditional on having clearer skin?
Maybe your word for the year is “Abundance”. Awesome. What happens if your dishwasher overflows and the abundance of water damages your floor? Will you still be anchored to wanting abundance, or is your desire for abundance conditional?
This actually happened to us once with a humidifier we got for a housewarming gift.
We had just bought a house that had brand new laminate floors.
The humidifier we were gifted leaked for 8 hours over night and damaged a 3x3 ft section of the floor.
It was kind of a "OH FUCK" moment of disappointment... But then we got curious, “What else is possible!? What could this be gifting us?”
We called the humidifier company, sent the machine back, and they discovered it was faulty. They ended up sending us a cheque for over $4000 to fix the floor!
At the time, we NEEDED cash. I had just lost my Dad to suicide and went back to schooL to try and "find myself".. So we were new home owners living on one income.
We kept the cash and didn’t fix the floor because we didn’t mind the little bubble. It added character! We even sold that house last year, with the damaged floor still there!
Had we been angry and frustrated about the abundance of water, we couldn’t have received the abundance of money that was available to us.
So, while this is a cutesy example...
But what happens when your intention or guiding word kicks your f%#king ass!?
2021 was far from easy, in many ways.
During some moments, it felt like spiritual torture.
I was forced to face several shadow aspects of myself I didn't know still existed.
In May, just 5 months after obliviously setting the intention of “it get’s to be easy”, I was faced with the HARDEST thing I have had to go through in business, to date.
It was hard, because it brushed against almost every single one of my internal narratives and childhood wounds.
It was an email (err, several, from one person) filled with projections that extensively outlined all the ways this person believed we weren’t good enough, all the ways they believed we were unethical and irresponsible, and they gaslit us with manipulative language like, "IF you cared about your community like you say you do, THEN you wouldn't hide extra support behind a pay wall".
For context: We had just spent MONTHS pouring over $12,000 into this new support option that was a nominal $45/month that allowed students to access business coaching, live healings, and resources to use in business. My team and I had spent HOURS working on this support option, so to hear that it was being perceived as us not caring about our community literally made my sick to my stomach.
It also reminded me of abusive language that was used in Religion to control my family and friends - so a LOT was being triggered in me.
For 2 weeks, V and I were both spinning. We would wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning every night, in panic and sweats. During the day, we couldn't stop the racing thoughts and nausea. The experience completely consumed us.
I even considered throwing in the towel and starting a t-shirt company at one point. "Surely that would be an easier and less emotional company to run".
As you can imagine, NOTHING about the experience was easy.
But it was exactly what I needed.
Because of this experience, paired with our core value and capacity to take radical responsibility and accountability, we got to work. We called several team meetings into play, and brought in external advisors to help us go through the emails objectively.
And here's where the magic happened:
We deployed new systems and processes in the business, deeper support measurements, more extensive graduating requirements and a volunteer case study experience that has now given us over 40 submissions of DATA from strangers who received sessions from our student practitioners.
As a result, we have received feedback about our students and from our students that defied everything this person shadow had projected onto us. Including immense gratitude from students who are excited to join the affordable and accessible support options we offer graduates!
It also became incredibly clear to us that this person was not a fit for the program to begin with, and if we wanted to keep the community container clean and successful, we needed to get a lot clearer about who our True Who (dream client) is and isn't - which forced us to tighten up our marketing message and set better expectations for students.
As you can see, regardless of how incredibly hard and painful it was to go through, this person was exactly who I needed in order to:
A) Resolve shadow aspects of myself that were stopping me from having a life and business that gets to be easy.
B) Take a cold hard look at all the ways we COULD do better in the company and program, and make the necessary changes to do so! As a result, our process and program is even more impactful, easy to run and gets results for students easier.
In the moment, even though it felt like psychic tormenting; we knew in one way or another, it was happening FOR us.
By the end of the year, I was actually able to experience genuine gratitude towards this shadow person because we needed it to shore up our processes, our boundaries, our value and values, our conviction, our messaging and as a result, our impact.
Life is always happening FOR us.
And we don’t always get what we want.
We get what we need so we can have what we want.
We're faced with lessons that help us become who we need to be, so we can keep what we want when we have it. (Brain twister, right!?)
So again, as you strut boldly into 2022…
Pay attention to the opportunities that will present themselves for you to fully embody what it is you’re looking to be, achieve and receive.
It may push you, haunt you, scare you, pressure you and challenge TF outta you.
But those are the exact problems you need in order to build absolute resilience in your soul.
And if there's one thing I know about you...
You, my friend, can handle it.
- O'tion (aka Kelsey), Co-Founder & Visionary of Empowered Healers Academy
Ps. I guess in the end, we get exactly what we want. It just doesn't show up as what we expect it to - which why it's so easily missed. How many facepalm moments do our spirit guides go through when we lose trust and flail about, I wonder? Lol.